


Intoxicated

by gabihabibi



Category: Brightgulf
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:46:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29718081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabihabibi/pseuds/gabihabibi
Summary: Tomorrow was Gulf Kanawut's college graduation, but here he is in Koh Lipe, 1,010 kilometers and 7.5 hours away from Bangkok, because his best friend of eight years (and secretly love of his life) wants to court his former lover once again.
Relationships: Bright Vachirawit Chivaaree & Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong, Bright Vachirawit Chivaaree/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	Intoxicated

**Author's Note:**

> This is a self-indulgent fic inspired from one of my favorite indie movies, "I'm Drunk I Love you" so please do not expect too much because I cannot guarantee this will be a good read for you.

It was surreal. The noise surrounding him was blocked out by the soft thrumming of his heart. The charismatic musician on stage is beckoning everyone to shamelessly admire him, and Gulf’s focus was solely on him and the gentle smile plastered on his attractive face. Gulf, once again, is helplessly hoping that it was meant for him. Here he is still hoping, regardless of how impossible and painful it is, that after eight long years of friendship Vachirawit Chivaree has finally fallen in love with Kanawut Traipipattanapong.

But how could it be, when the cause of that gentle smile was standing beside Gulf, also captivated by the musician on stage? 

_ Dara.  _ The girl who gracefully waltzed in his best friend’s life when he least expected it because Gulf was too busy mourning for his broken heart. The ideal girl. The musician’s muse. The reason why Bright begged Gulf to have a sudden visit to Koh Lipe to attend a music festival and apparently fulfill his best friend’s wish to explore the wonderful Sunset Beach. _Liar._ Bright only wanted to chase the girl of his dreams, when all Gulf ever did was stay by his side and dream of him every night. Eight agonizing long years, and not once did he ever look at Gulf the way he looks at Dara. One year of seeing Bright’s eyes soften in admiration and brightens in mirth, looking at her as if she hung the stars.

__

But not once did he ever notice Gulf who always puts him in a plinth— gazing at him as if he could equate to Sirius.

Bright was the subject to his poems, the main character to his stories, and the lead to his movies. And Gulf, foolish Gulf Kanawut, could only be the best friend and the supporting role in Bright Vachirawit’s life. He couldn’t even be the second lead; how pathetic can he be, right? 

Here is Gulf Kanawut, an aspiring brilliant scriptwriter, whose own story is a mess.

Well, you cannot entirely blame him because Gulf did try to move on once. However, his heart was fated to love Bright, and only Bright, which is the cruel fate of his that he has long accepted. **Vachiwarit Chivaree is his first love.** And Gulf is heavily aware that it was cliché already to fall in love with your best friend but to have him as your first love is piteous. 

_ “And you need to know, you’re the only one, alright, alright.  _

_ And you need to know that you keep me up all night, all night” _

_ Damn.  _ Gulf could have been the reason for that song and that enchanting smile, but there was Dara, and how can he ever compete with her? He did have Bright for eight years and he wants to proudly exclaim that one year is nothing compared to that. But how could he when Bright will always choose her over his best friend? It happened so many times already that he grew accustomed to it. It is also the reason why they are here in Koh Lipe, 1,010 kilometers and 7.5 hours away, where he was supposed to be since he was graduating tomorrow, because the love of life his needs moral support in courting his former lover.

Gulf went aboard a plane with no second thoughts and even though he was easily seasick he rode a ferry, recklessly ditching his graduation ceremony that will be the culminating event of his four years of hard work and dedication in college all because of a love that will never be reciprocated. He wants to demand Bright to buy him another plane ticket so he could go back to Bangkok, but that will be unreasonable because Gulf wouldn’t be able to attend his graduation on time, which means he’ll just be wasting his best friend’s money. Or actually, his parent’s money, because Bright is just a spoiled brat. Gulf is a bitter man, so he considered telling Bright’s parents that he is wasting hard-earned money, but he chose not to because he didn’t want Bright to get in trouble. 

Vachirawit Chivaree is Kanawut’s Traipipattanapong **undesired weakness**.

_ “Mad cool in all my clothes. _

_ Mad warm when you get close to me. _

_ Slow dance these summer nights. _

_ Our disco ball’s my kitchen light” _

-

They were two drunken high school kids graduating, still in their white uniform decorated with encouraging, funny, and dramatic messages from their classmates, dancing in the Vachirawit’s spacious kitchen. Bright has suggested hosting a party since his parents were away and were completely fine with it, but Gulf was an introvert, and he would rather have his best friend comfortable and safe with him rather than have him tucked in his bed while he party with other people. So here they are, with their crazy dance moves and probably the tenth bottle of beer. They were together for four years, always attached at the hip, and they never want to separate at all if it was ever possible. Which they wouldn’t, of course, since Bright decided to apply to Gulf’s dream university without telling the latter. It was a surprise, a graduation gift perhaps, or maybe just Bright being selfish and not wanting to let go.

_ “I haven’t written yet in your uniform, Kana”,  _ Bright said, a pout visible on his handsome face, which is part of Gulf’s thank you and what the hell to the universe.

_ “I save a part for you”,  _ Gulf pointed at the place where his heart is located, _“Make sure what you write is memorable, or else I will throw this uniform in Chao Phraya River.”_

Bright couldn’t help but laugh— that laugh of his that sent shivers down to Gulf’s spine and make his heart stop beating for approximately five seconds. Yes, he counted it because it happens so often, and the first time it happened he immediately went to the computer lab to search _“why did my heart stop beating when my best friend laughed”_ because he thought he was dying or something. The results were definitely an eye-opener, and he chastised himself for not having any clue about it. It was glaringly obvious— Kanawut Traipipattanapong is in love with Vachirawit Chivaree. _Damn, that was four years ago, and here he was still whipped for him._

He was brought back to reality when Bright smiled at him, with all one’s heart and soul, his eyes glinting exquisitely beautiful amidst the muted kitchen light, and Gulf suddenly felt the urge to kiss him as if it would be his last chance to do so. So, he did. Mustering up all his courage that has been hidden these past four years, Gulf grabbed the lapel of Bright’s uniform, pulling him swiftly close to him, and unhesitatingly pressed his lips on Bright’s tempting luscious lips. 

_ Fifteen seconds.  _

That is how long Gulf has pressed his lips on Bright’s. 

_ It was heavenly and worth sinning for.  _

And he might forget it the next day because he is drunk. Well, he needs to act as if he forgot it the next day because he couldn’t lose his best friend who is currently stupefied in front of him. So, Gulf did the next best thing and fainted since he was a good actor. Luckily for him, Bright’s instinct was to _always_ catch him.

The next day he woke up as if nothing has happened, except that there was a code written on his uniform, in the part he has left for Bright.

**K cmkx gww, flar gww.**

Gulf did ask his best friend what the letters meant, yet he remained adamant on staying secretive about it, so Gulf almost threw the damned uniform on Chao Phraya River but somehow something stopped him from doing so.

Maybe someday he will know, or maybe this just gibberish, who knows?

-

Gulf was not a murderer, but he could be right now with all the deathly glares he has thrown towards Dara and Bright. If he had any idea that he would be third-wheeling the love of his life and his obnoxiously sweet and kind ex-girlfriend, Gulf would have chosen to stay in Bangkok where he can attend his graduation and not have his heart broken repeatedly because of the clingy couple rekindling their past romance in front of him. How shameless can they be to not have any clue that they were causing a great amount of heartache to Gulf since last year? He couldn’t even enjoy the comforting breeze of the ocean and its lulling waves, which is the only reason why he is here. 

_ Okay, fine. _ The other reason why Gulf wanted to visit Koh Lipe for years is that he wants to watch the sunset at the beach with his future lover and Bright knows that. He desperately wants to hate Bright for tempting him with the possibility of completing one goal in his bucket list, but at least he is in Sunset Beach with the guy he has been in love with for eight years already, not acknowledging the heart-wrenching fact that they are not together as a couple and will never be. 

Because there is the beguiling Vachirawit Chivaree, hands tightly intertwined with his charming former lover, while they blissfully gaze upon the setting sun.

Gulf Kanawut desperately wants to blame the universe— it let him meet his best friend and it was the one that wrote in the book of life that he was fated to fall in love with Bright. It was cruel. Practically an injustice because Bright met Dara and fallen in love with her instead of Gulf, who was there all along, waiting for the right moment that they can finally be together. Sometimes he cannot help but be petulant and accuse Dara of thievery, because Gulf just disappeared for a while and when he came back, there she is, occupying the spot in Bright’s life that should have been Gulf’s. 

**Two weeks and five days.**

That is how long it took for the universe to messed up his life and say, _“Kanawut Traipipattanapong, I hereby cursed you eternal heartache and suffering for leaving Vachirawit Chivaree for two weeks and five days just because you couldn’t handle your romantic feelings anymore”._

If he had known that she will appear at the exact moment that he chose to disappear for a while, he would have chosen to endure heartache and stay beside Bright, just so he could guard him. 

But who was he kidding? 

Bright will still meet Dara in that quaint little coffee shop and will still end up together since it was predestined. 

_ “Damn you, universe!”,  _ the sickeningly sweet soon-to-be couple in front of him turned their heads toward Gulf with questioning stares. _Damn._ Did he curse the universe out loud? Is this karma for cursing the universe? _“A-ah, I was just, uh, it’s nothing?”_

_ “Are you okay, Kana?”  _ Bright asked, concern dancing in his alluring black coffee-like eyes, and Gulf wants to curse him so bad. How can he be concerned when he is the reason for Gulf’s eight years of heartache? And oh, he is walking to Gulf, slowly and carefully as if the latter would run away if he went nearer. Because honestly, Gulf is ready to run away again.

_ “I’m just hungry… hangry actually. You know I get angry when I’m hungry and…”, _ his best friend took his fidgeting hands, softly caressing it, and Gulf swore he fell deeper in love with him at that moment. _You are terribly good at making me fall in love and bad at catching me._ Gulf made sure he wouldn’t say it out loud this time to save himself from further embarrassment. 

_ “Do you want crispy pork basil, Kana? I’m sorry we were too busy catching up I forgot it’s dinner time already. Let us eat now, my treat, hm?”,  _ Bright intertwined their hands and proceeded to walk back to the hotel, but not before gesturing to Dara to follow them. Gulf, being his petulant self, wants to ask Dara how it feels to thirdwheel. It’s quite pathetic as well, but Gulf’s bitter, and Bright is holding his hands as if he has the world right in the palm of his hands. _With utmost care, and seemingly terrified to let go._

Delusional, that is what Gulf Kanawut is.

But he lets himself indulged in his fantasies because it is only in there that he could have Bright Vachirawit as his lover.

_ Why haven’t you fallen in love with me, Ai’Bright? _

-

How many times did Bright break his heart during the past six years? Gulf has lost count already, and it will never matter anyways because it will keep on happening again and again. He has tried many times to leave Bright, but the guy was adamant about staying in his life, and even if Gulf was the one to leave, he always comes home to his best friend. _The love of his life._ But here he is, a suitcase in his left hand and a plane ticket on the right. Gulf just needs to breathe— to assure himself that he could live without Bright. Because if he couldn’t, how can he survive being in Bright’s life if he ever met the love of his life, get married, and have children that will surely call him Uncle Gupi. _Couldn’t it be Dada, or Papa instead?_

Gulf heaved a sigh, closed his tired eyes, and chose to drown himself in his best friend’s soothing voice.

_ “Should I try to hide the way I feel inside my heart for you? _

_ Would you say that you would try to love me too? _

_ In your mind could you ever be really close to me?” _

_ Damn, why this song?  _ Gulf should destroy this mixtape but Bright chose the songs in this tape and the words, “To Kana”, was written in his beautiful cursive handwriting with an adorable soccer ball drawn beside it. His thoughtful best friend gifted him a cassette player on their one-year friendsarry and he treated it as his most treasured possession. Also, ever since that fateful day, on every special occasion in Gulf’s life, he will receive a mixtape from his best friend. Every single day he makes sure to listen to one mixtape because he adores Bright’s honey-like voice. It is as if an angel, who was cast out on heaven to be with Gulf, is singing to him every day. Unluckily for Gulf, he ends up listening to the song that would attack his feelings and remind him that he has been stuck in the friendzone for six years already.

_ ” But till I can see that you'd really care for me _

_ I'll keep trying to hide the way I feel inside” _

It was not the fear of rejection that terrifies Gulf and prevents him from confessing his love for Bright. Rather, it was the fear of losing his best friend, the love of his life, and his home for six years for a mere confession. There was no certainty that Bright feels the same way. After all, if he ever did, he should have confessed because he was the braver one between the two of them, right? Besides, two years ago, Gulf has learned to accept that whatever they have will be enough. And he thought it will be easier to move on because they will attend different universities. But when Bright showed him the acceptance letter and told him they should be roommates because it will be fun, Gulf knew right then and there his heart has foolishly chosen his best friend as its only worthy keeper. 

Gulf was just fortunate that during those _torturous_ two years, the love he felt for his best friend just simmered down. His heartbeat would not stop for five seconds anymore whenever Bright laughs or smiles at him, instead there will be a wave of contentment that will sweep over his once jittery heart. He no longer feels the fluttering butterflies that always push him to an edge, but rather Gulf feels a sense of comfort as if he belongs wherever Bright is. And lastly, his surroundings have stopped doing a slow-motion effect or pause effect as if he is in a romantic movie whenever Bright is nearby. 

Come to think of it, it is now **fast forward**.

Their supposed future just flashes as if scenes in the movie- the day that he will confess and be accepted, their joyous wedding, and even with them growing old together. Gulf’s other best friend, Mild, told him it is worse than before. According to Mild, all the different kinds of love Gulf could ever encounter in his life has ended up being with Bright- puppy love, first love, true love, the greatest love, and only love. His best friend is also his first and constant heartache. 

_ Your first kiss as well, and hopefully the first time.  _ Gulf’s little devil in his left shoulder whispered to him, making him blush redder than a ripe tomato.

Fortunately, the whispers of his little devil were interrupted by his ringtone, the instrumental version of “If It Kills Me” by Jason Mraz was heard indicating who the caller was.

_ “Where are you, Kana?”,  _ Bright said, voice laced with a mixture of anger and worry. _“Your suitcase isn’t here. Did you elope or something? Where did you meet that person? Is that person a good guy? Say yes if you’re kidnapped.”,_ leave it to Bright to bombard him with silly questions.

_ “Airport. I took it with me. I didn’t because I haven’t met anyone since my best friend wouldn’t leave me alone, and I was not kidnapped since I’m calmly speaking with you right now”,  _ Gulf decided to answer his best friend’s questions in one go because he was not in the mood for further investigation. 

_ “Why the hell are you in the airport?”,  _ he was about to answer but Gulf suddenly heard Bright shuffling around his bedroom, _“Where are you going? What time is the flight? Wait for me, I’ll just pack up my suitcase and if the flight is already full, I’ll board the next plane.”_

Gulf couldn’t help but to groan because of his overprotective and worrywart best friend who is about to ruin his “moving on vacation”.

_ “I can’t say where I’m going because I need to breathe Ai’Bright. I need to be far away from everything and everyone. E-even you.”,  _ he heard his best friend’s breath hitched, and it only happens when Bright was about to cry, and Gulf’s heart constricted in pain when the image of his teary-eyed best friend appeared in his mind. The only time they ever separated was during their classes because they took different courses, but besides that, Bright was always there with him. But Gulf needs to be selfish this time, just this once, _he desperately needs to choose himself._

Before he can coax his probably sulking best friend, Bright harshly ended the call, breaking Gulf’s heart for supposedly a millionth time already.

And when he came back, ready to profess his undying love for Bright, he saw a beautiful petite woman cooking in the kitchen while being engulfed in his best friend’s warm embrace.

_ Ai’Bright, you couldn’t love me when I was by your side for six years, but you have found someone you’ll love just after two weeks and five days of my disappearance? _

-

His reverie was cut short when Bright sat in front of him, his charming smile still plastered on his attractive face as if taunting Gulf with the thought that he could have had this for himself if he did not leave that time.

_ “I should have stayed, right?”. _

They both decided to drink a couple of beers before going back to the bedroom they shared, and Gulf wasn’t really drunk, but he wants to use it to his advantage once again. The reason why he was very eager to graduate was never because of the diploma and medal he will receive, but because it is his _goodbye_ to the eight years he has shared with Bright. It was all thoroughly planned out. The confession letter and the plane ticket to Singapore were prepared by him weeks ago. His heart was finally ready to let go of the feelings it had harbored for so long. But Gulf Kanawut was a weak and selfish man. He wanted to have one last sunset with the person he loves the most. 

_ “If I stayed that time if I was patient enough, maybe after another six years the universe will take pity in me and you will miraculously wake up one day, finally in love with me.”,  _ even if he were a sobbing mess, Gulf still bravely smiled at Bright, who could not even look at him.

_ “I have loved you ever since the first day I saw you at the field, angrily kicking the ball because you lost to your teammate and just throwing out all sorts of profanities as if you were devil incarnate. Damn. You were one hell of an angry kitten… but you had me. You have me.”,  _ Bright’s confession was something he always dreamt of, but now that he has gotten it, Gulf doesn’t know how to respond.

He wasted eight years pining for a man who always felt the same way for him.

_ “And then you kissed me.”,  _ Gulf’s face reddened when he remembered that embarrassing moment of his, _“Kana, your kiss, even if it was merely fifteen seconds, has fueled my hope for years to come.”_

Gulf, overwhelmed with the sudden confession from Bright, has chosen to remain silent, while also wallowing in his regrets.

_ “I thought after six years of you having me, I could finally have you as well. But you have forgotten about that night while it has haunted me for years.”,  _ he had never heard Bright sound this vulnerable, and it pains him that his poor choice of fainting that night to escape his foolish action was the cause of Bright’s heartache, but the past can never be undone. _“When you left that time, I thought I have lost you forever. So, when I met Dara, I was helpless to believe that the universe sent her to me so I could finally move on from you. But I realized that you are the only one I will ever love, that is why whatever we have officially ended tonight.”_

Gulf thought there was nothing more that could hurt him, but Bright’s next words were the fatal blow.

_ “I love you, only you. That is the meaning of those gibberish words I wrote in your uniform. I do regret writing it in Vigenere Cipher, but you know I have this inane romantic side, and I had this hope that somehow, someday, you’ll crack that cipher.” _

They were both foolish drunken men who are confessing their feelings for one another after eight excruciating years of hiding it, and all Gulf wants at that exact moment was to kiss Bright without pretending that it never happened.

So, he did.

Gulf gently held his best friend’s cheeks, gazing at the tear-stained coffee-like orbs that have always intoxicated him, and slowly pressed his lips on Bright’s never-changing tempting luscious lips. In the dimly-lit room, with the moonlight shining through the curtains as the only source of light, Bright and Gulf shared a long-awaited kiss. It was slow and tentative at first but as the seconds' tick by, the kiss turned passionate and yearning. A kiss that will surely be eternally engraved in their hearts and memories.

_ “I love you, Ai’Bright.”, Gulf whispered softly after the kiss they shared has ended, “And I will wake up tomorrow remembering that.” _

-


End file.
